no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
