Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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