So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
