sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
what day is it and did you see me today?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
