so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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