I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
