"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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