WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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