He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
