Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I deserve to be covered in dicks
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
