It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
