Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
i think we sleep fucked last night...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
