I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
