Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
