the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
