Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
