what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
