So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
