i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
