every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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