it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
