I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
