just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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