How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
