if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
you made out with another girl for some wings
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
