I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
