How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
