Whod you bang
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
