im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
