so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
