Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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