so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
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