Pants 0. Shit 1.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Drunk is a universal language darling
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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