I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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