Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
