We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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