So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
