HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
