Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
