..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
