I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
