PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
