we're blogging at a bar
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
