whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
