Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
