I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
