I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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