So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
