Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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