There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
A+ Viking dick
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
